Monday, November 12, 2007

In Memory of

I thought of you often. Just the other day a memory of one of the stories you told popped in my head on the way home from work. I always thought that someday I would look you up but I thought you would think it was weird if the 16 year old punk you worked with, now grown up, tracked you down. I really enjoyed working with you. We bonded due to the lack of customers leaving us with hours to talk and I have always remembered each of your stories. You taught me about fear and loneliness and about hope and exhaustion. You showed me vulnerability and the infinite sadness that a human soul can carry, yet you were never truly down.

Our other co-worker found me and told me that you kept the pictures from so long ago; of my last day of work there, all of us smiling. It breaks my heart that I didn't keep in touch, even if I was worried you would think I was odd. Once upon a time I even had the thought that someday I would come back and find you, if you weren't doing well, and help you in any way I could. I thought there was time. I was certain our paths would meet again someday. They won't, not on earth, and I am sorry.

I always wished the best for you.

I am sorry you are gone.

I am sorry that life never treated you better.

I am sorry I missed your memorial.

I am sorry you went the way you did.

I am sorry that I will never get to see you again.

I am sorry.

I should have stayed in touch.



Goodbye. You were loved.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry too.

It sucks to learn that someone you just expected to keep on living has stopped. I wish I had better words to say so.

Anonymous said...

Despite the fact that I don't know who you're talking about, this made me sad.

I'm sorry for your loss

Anonymous said...

Oh sweetie. I'm sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh this makes me so sad. I'm sorry, girl -but I bet you they always thought of you with a smile.