Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ah DRUNK

So guess who is drunk? On a work night? If you said Eris you would be right.

Tra la la so drunk.

And I have to work tomorrow. Damn people, they are bad influences. I didn't drink sake out ot a STRAW is all I'm saying.

Andy: But sake is actually quite good via straw. I'm quite, uh, tipsy at the moment. I tried a cool Jackie Chan-style get up off the ground and nearly failed miserably. My mind is babbling incoherent thoughts that my mouth and fingers refuse to type out of good taste. But I'm having an incredible time, as per usual. What's more... I am truly a bad influence. I mean, who wants to work tomorrow anyway. She looks sick. *cough cough* She looks terribly sick.

Eris: Oh yes, so damn sick. How did somehone force me to drink two large sakes and two or maybe three (who can remember) vodka tonics at that bar and now we may delve into cranberry barcardis. Maybe I made myself. I'm sorry, Tuesday, what is that? Are we drunk? Noooooooooo.. Okay, yes. Hell yes. We may wind up conceiving an unknown love child tonight. Does Eris have to work tomotorrow? Oh yes, so very much yes. Fuck this is a bad idea. My freshman highschool yearbook already made its way out. Andy had his digital camera out so um...crap....it it his turn...


Andy: I promise not to complain when the morning sickness kicks in. And for the record - said apartment looks 10x more fantasic that I could have bloody dreamed of. And I, for one, never realized that the third riech meant Germany. Oh, sorry, there I am quoting "The Producers" whilst drunk and in the middle of blogging. I haven't fallen over yet. But I'm sure that Eris is sick and will be unable to attend work on the morrow. I don't work until next week, at which time my job will be wine so I have no problems with the current situation... did that make sense? I cant' tell right now. My IQ seems to drop every time I stand up and wobble. But, for the official record, Eris is very beautiful tonight.

Eris: Awwwwwww, thank you. Maya wants to have babies with Andy but I'm not telling, Nooooooooooo, not at all. Her text says he is "hawt" and he has already offered to withstand morning sickness for ms so he wins the best guy ever award. We are still deciding who gets the couch and who gets the bed. Have I mentioned that I WORK TOMORROW? And Andy just gave me my bacardi and cranberry drink? Why doesn't anyone else ever come visit me from the blog world, I mean, I am a total blast here people. The drunkeness, the work tomorrow, the pictures, the highschool memories (real or drunkenly made up) we so rock. YOU LOVE ME BITCHES. Yo SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wish you were shere.

Andy: I feel like a child right now. Well, a child raised like Drew Barrymore. I'm fairly buzzed and well on my way to completely inebriated. I drove back from the sushi place (and subsequent bar visit). That was rough. I know I'm a "good" drunk driver but therein lies the problem. Granted I have't been buzzed in months... but still. Alas, here be a damsel in distress. Work distress. And I shall save her! Work, as we all know, is for fools. And Eris is no fool. Thus, as logical statements go, since work is, in fact, for fools, and Eris is no fool, it seems as though we've reached the conclusion that she shan't go to work tomorrow. But seriously, you should see her, she's gorgeous!

Eris: Um, I have to work. Money good. OMG if you guys saw the typing errors I've committed you would cry. This is totally the first drunken post I've ever completed with someone. Can't type: totally horrid right now. Feh. Where was I? Should Any take the bed or the couch? He is lifting my 3 pound weights right now and making fun of me. MFer. I'm a lightweight okay? And so so so so so so drunk. Holy hell am I drunk. How the hell am I supposed to make it to work tomorrow. Andy was going to get his yoga certification. Now he is tryng to do some kind of crow pose. I may have to call the paramedics soon. Did you know that he was a paramedic once? And a personal massuese? Yeah, he was. Among otyher things. He totally did stand up comedy one time which I am wayyyyyyyyyy toooooo wussy to do but he did. Totally. I wasn't quite there but I am now. And I need more water. Gah.

Andy: Crow pose: unsuccessful. Perhaps due to certain balance issues at present. Perhaps. Otherly... I am quite skilled in the powers of persuasion. She won't go tomorrow. She'd rather do something fun like hiking or... or... damn, too drunk to make a list. Damn. Alas, what? Argh. My legs are sitting on the couch while I am across the room typing. It's amazing that my lower body can be more than ten feet from me and still function. I just watched my legs, from across the room mind you, cross at the knee (the "dude" way). I'm amazing and quite talented while drunk. What was I saying? Oh yeah! She couldn't possibly work tomorrow. Think of what she'd miss! Join me and say: "Eris! Are you crazy?! Don't go to work when you could have fun instead!" Thanks. I'm glad EVERYONE supports me on this.

Eris: Yeah but I need to pay BILLS. BILLs damnit, cannot call in sick. Gah. We will watch movie now. Movie good. Andy will post this in his blog now. Good. Eris so. veryily. drunk,..\

7 comments:

Maya said...

I would like to go on record as the GRAND FACILITATOR/AGITATOR of this (best ever!) post. I looooove Eris and Andy has been one of my unsung (and shamefully, unblogrolled) heros for some time.

If I could transcribe Eris' and my text messages from tonight...I would. Alas, good sense (and lack of her express permission) permits this.

Everyone: I did NOT say I wanted to have Andy's babies. I *did* however, say he was HAWT. (Hi Andy! I admit it! Also I was drinking vodka earlier so I am contributing to the drink n' blog epidemic)

sallyacious said...

It sounds like you two had a ball. I was laughing all the way through this.

May neither of you experience the hangovers you so richly deserve after mixing booze like that.

alyndabear said...

Ha, drunk on a worknight. You are my hero, m'dear. xo

Andy said...

I slept, drunkenly, from about 1-3:30 AM and I've been up since. It's now 6:51 and I'm not tired at all. And, for the record, I have no hangover. None. I even ate eggs for breakfast (which certain other people could not presently stomach). The couch was actually quite comfortable in case any of you have the priviledge of coming out here. And what a lovely hostess.

Don't worry, Maya, no one else wants to have my babies either! I've even offered to carry them AND, per last nights drunken blogging, I have also agreed to tackle the morning sickness too. But really, the world certainly doesn't need any spawn of me! I promise I am trouble and so would mini-me's be the same.

So@24 said...

I wanted to finish your post, but it'll have to wait for later.

I'm hungover like nobody's business and reading "sake" is making me gag.

So@24 said...

I love the drunk blogger!

maya said...

Don't take it personally, Andy- I don't think I will be having anyone's babies (you know, unless George Clooney or Wentworth. Miller, etc call haha)