Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Trying to be upbeat when all I want to do is Smash! Break! Kill!

Oh internet. All I want to do is be witty and charming and adorable for you today. All I want to do is tap into whatever that inane little river of nonsense is inside of me and chat merrilly away about whatever crap floats into my head.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

The river is all dried up.

As the sun burns hot and red through the window over my desk, filtered by more clouds of thick, choking, brown ash and dust from yet another fire, I am feeling quite parched. So parched, in fact, that I don't even have it in me to take this river analogy anywhere.

I really don't want to write about work because what more is there to say? You know I work for the financial institution that satan himself uses. You know that I am surrounded by people who are trying to slowly kill me in the most excrutiating way possible. You know that I am actively pursuing a new position that pays more than poverty level wages yet the inhuman effort I have put forth yields me with nothing.

You know about my love life. You know about my diet. You know about my hatred of tags on clothing, love of nacho cheese and you have witnessed my mad paint rendering skillz. You are likely bored out of your mind right now.

Me too.

Therefore tell me something nice about yourself. Anything nice. The world, obviously, needs some more nice and I am not contributing to it. So I will start: I always use my turn signal while driving.

You're next.

5 comments:

So@24 said...

Perhaps you have nothing really substantial to say. And you're right, I am bored.

But this entry shaved 5 precious minutes off my tedious work day. And that means something

sallyacious said...

Actually, I expect Satan's bank is much more efficiently run. I mean, he wouldn't stand for futzy-doodling around, would he?

Something nice? About me? I rarely find a human being in which there is nothing to love.

Isabel said...

Something nice about myself???

Maybe this will help...

The RAIN WON'T STOP HERE IN SEATTLE AND I HATE IT.

Crap, that wasn't very nice.

Andy said...

Is it nice to say that I have LESS hate for some things?

Wait, no, I've got one! I don't hate books and movies (depending).

There. Positive. Insightful even. Give 'em hell until they team up on you and give you a dozen times the hell. Then back into a corner and sob, I always say!

Contrary said...

My something nice:

I always not only put my own shopping cart in the little corral, I always straighten up the ones that are already there so more will fit. Ok, so that's a mixture of 'nice' and 'OCD', but it still counts, right?