I don't really know what I'm doing. Blogger confuses me all to hell, which is interesting, since everyone else seems to think it's the most simple blogging "solution" available on the Web.
But simple? To Meg? Does not compute.
SO! Hello again!
I said that I would guest post for Eris while she's away (You are still away, aren't you? I'm imagining you trying to log in and being all HEY WHO IS USING MY BLOG and I'm all I AM AND I AM POSTING PORN and you are all HEY THAT'S FINE and I'm all OKAY, COOL), but I seem to have left it until Friday because of excessive deadline-age at work this week.
Which makes me a jerk.
I'm a jerk!
But I truly love Eris, so here goes:
TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE GUEST POSTING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG
1. Reveal their true identity. No one needs to know that Eris = Lindsay Lohan.
2. Reveal your true identity. No one needs to know that Meg = Meg. Oh. Wait.
3. Talk about how YOU would write this blog if YOU were in charge (hint: more nudity! Less clothing!)
4. Post 19 pictures of your cat. Especially since he died two years ago.
5. Talk about how Scientology has changed your life and hey, is anyone interested in joining? Couch jumping? Free plane ride with John Travolta? Free Jenny Craig buffet with Kirstie Alley?
6. Spam with links back to your own blog.
7. Share your personal 460-page manifesto for how the entire world should be reorganized into "countrettes" named after animals (I'm movin' to Zebra!)
8. Make fun of Eris's "clomp clomps." (She'll get it when she comes back.)
9. Five words: an interview with Paris Hilton.
10. Fucking swear because you don't normally fucking swear at your own fucking blog.
Eris, come back soon.
I suck at this.
But before I go, a haiku for your vacation:
so cal can be warm
but not as warm as your heart
or as dry, either.