Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Is there a 12 step for Nacho Cheese?


Conversation with self:

Me: I hate my job
Me: I know, shut up about it already. Hating it isn’t doing anything.
Me: These people are purposefully trying to make me crazy
Me: I can’t handle it anymore, I'm going to snap
Me: Where can I find a job, any other job, at all, I don’t care, RIGHT NOW
Me: I could try temping
Me: Fuck, temping in this city would cut my current salary by more than fifty percent
Me: Is the economy bad or am I insane?
Me: Well, I’m insane, always
Me: I hate my job
Me: I’ve been really good all week! I want Taco Bell! Nacho cheese!
Me: It is Wednesday. This has not been even close to a full week.
Me: NACHO CHEESE
Me: Eat your damn healthy lunch
Me: This has been shit week from hell preceded by shit month from hell preceded by holy mother of gob how did my life wind up being so horrible?
Me: NACHO CHEESE
Me: NO NO NO NONONONONO I am so close to being under 120 pounds, just one more month! You can do it!
Me: *wimpering* Nacho cheese? Please?
Me: One stupid plate of Taco Bell Nachos has nearly 1000 calories, and you can eat three of those in one sitting. No Nacho Cheese for you.
Me: Fuck it. I deserve Nacho Cheese. I work hard. My week has been horrible. I showed up to work today. I worked out yesterday. Shut up and eat the damn delicious Nacho Cheese and be filled with joy.
Me: I hate my job
Me: You could be under 120 lbs if you didn’t eat the Nacho Cheese
Me: Imagine the cuteness, imagine the happiness of fitting into your clothes again
Me: Fuck cuteness. I hate cuteness. I want Nacho Cheese.
Me: Gobdamnit. Maybe it is time for hypnotherapy.
Me: EWWWWWWWWW google image search for Nacho Cheese brings up some of the most horrific, unthinkable images ever. What the hell?
Me: Healthy lunch it is.

4 comments:

Maya said...

I feel the same way about....many things*. Which is why I am no where NEAR my ideal weight.
*Mac n' Cheese, bean/cheese burritos from the Hell, quesadillas made with yummy gourmet cheese.....There seems to be a recurring theme here:

CHEESE. It's the Devil.

sallyacious said...

For those of us keeping score at home, just how many of you are there?

sallyacious said...

And in other news, here's a picture of you via NASA: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/hubble/news/eris.html

HollowSquirrel said...

um, that picture makes my mouth water. take it down for the love of my thighs.