Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Still No Title

I've been able to process a bit more since last night and I've come up with some conclusions:

The girl I met is likely a meth addict

There but for the grace of God go I


No Matter What, If You Have All Your Teeth You Will Always Be Okay

Today is her birthday and last night I told her I would meet up for a drink or something small if she wanted to. I did try to make it clear that I go to be very early on weeknights because I work so early the next day but I don't know if she would have picked up on it since, in between her non stop talking, twitching and jittering I am not sure that she picked up on much. It is about six my time and I am sorta hoping she doesn't call, only because I have a distinct feeling that she would show up high or wind up leaving our meeting to get high with her abusive ex husband who is not really her ex husband because although he is a meth addict and wanted on several warrants for his arrest she can't bear to serve him with divorce papers yet even though she has already had relationships since their "breakup." Yikes.

I am not about to leave anyone alone on their birthday, especially when they seemed so excited to be offered with a chance to do something, but I also think that this may turn out yucky no matter what. If she does call I will make an effort to go, provided it isn't eleven at night. If she doesn't call then I will hope that she is off surrounded by caring people who value and love her and aren't going to propagate a bad situation. As is stands I am going to change into okay clothes and meet up with another long standing engagement I have on Wednesday nights and after 8:30 I'm thinking the phone should go off, because that is just too late for me. If she hasn't called by now (I left her a message about two hours ago) then she probably won't call, right?

The thing is, I worked really insanely hard to get my crap together. The majority of what happened I had no control over, and though it has been hard as hell I've managed to do okay. But I wanted out. I wanted to be okay. I don't think she does. She talked about how she hadn't seen the abusive "ex" for months then let it slip that she'd just been there last week. I understand abusive relationships very well and no external influence will get you out until you want to be out. She doesn't want to be out yet. She is a nice girl but she just isn't there yet. Explaining what I had to do and how I got out may not make much a difference, but if she calls, I'll meet her for a drink. Of course, a drink may not be the best idea...

I hope she winds up okay. I hope I wind up okay. I hope we all wind up okay. I'll keep you posted.


It is now nine my time and I never heard from her. If she really wanted to meet up she had my number. Let us hope that there isn't a strange backlash at work (she is the daughter of a supervisor, remember?).

I'm going to bed.


alyndabear said...

Hmm. I feel badly for this girl, but you're right; you have to WANT to be okay for things to start working their way out. You're awesome, and the fact that you're willing to take this girl on shows that.

sallyacious said...

This is why you are okay. Because you think about things like cause and effect and you've got a good bit of self-awareness. Good for you. You deserve to be on the upswing.

The CEO said...

Thinking works. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Tough situation to be in with a supervisors kid. If you were to come forth with your suspicions, they could all get together, have an intervention and live happily ever after, praising you for being the catalyst for their newfound perfect lives. Then again, unless you live in a Lifetime For Women movie of the week, that probably won't happen.

Don't take all of her issues and dramas on, and don't feel bad for not taking them on either. Do what you feel you can, and keep yourself sane.

I am glad I found your blog, and hope you keep it up!