Somehow I've been roped into having a holiday get together this weekend. In my tiny, tiny apartment. With my unmatched dishes.
I'm open to new things and if you've followed any permutations of my blog you know that having an active, healthy and exciting social life is one of my goals/dreams. However. I don't have a Christmas tree, a coffee maker much less coffee, bowls to put chips in, napkins, enough seating for over ten people (yikes!), soda, party food or a toilet seat that isn't cracked. I also don't have the money to buy any of these things.
I'm going to have to sell some of my blood at lunch or something today.
I also don't know how to entertain these people. Back when I used to throw huge holiday parties it was much easier; in high school and my early college years I just invited people, provided food, and let the fun begin. Now I have no idea what to do. Are people going to wind up hating me? Will I be known as the worst hostess ever? Will people awkwardly stand around since they don't know each other and may not get along and leave an hour after they came? What will I feed them? How will I afford to feed them? Is it okay to forgo the whole peel and eat shrimp, wine, cheese and fruit thing and instead order a few pizzas and tell them to bring their own beer? Most of these people don't really know the other people and I can't think of one dynamic funny person in the group so I don't know how to entertain people or ensure that they have a good time. Suddenly I know why there are libraries of books written on parties.
So while I am in the midst of total melt down freak out I am going to try to go shopping today and figure out a menu, pick up a tree, scrub the grout in my bathroom, wash my carpets, wrap all my Christmas presents, find some cheap wine glasses and a new toilet seat and oh yeah PANIC.
I bet other people are not as retarded as I am.