For the first time in seven years I don't have a significant someone to buy a sexy argyle sweater vest for.
I'm rather into sweater vests, especially of the argyle kind. Slap in some glasses and graying hair and WHOOOOOOOO boy I'm knock-kneed and salivating. While doing my holiday shopping yesterday I stumbled across mounds of luxurious sweater vests displayed in nearly every store and felt, just a little, rather lonely and sad. Then I remembered that it is a good thing that I don't have a significant other in my life to buy one of these for because in the past seven years all the loves I've bought a sweater vest for have fallen out of my life, and now, alone, for the first time in my entire adult life, I am much happier than I've ever been before.
Someday I might again have a man to buy an argyle sweater vest for. He might hopefully be charming and funny, kind and compassionate, and understand my sense of humor. If fate likes me he will have glasses, be over six foot, and maybe, just maybe, have some gray at his temples.
Of course, I still may have surreptitiously buried my face in a pile of argyle sweater vests but that is between me and the security cameras that patrol the store.