Saturday, February 2, 2008

Starting Over

Ah, Anonymous, who ever you are, this is some great advice: "Don't look upon not drinking as "I can't drink alcohol". Try and see it in more of a "I could drink, but right now, I am not going to because I want to become more healthy". It does help to alter your perception. "Can't" seems to foster more rebellion and irritation about constraints."

I had two glasses of wine last night.

I have to start my 21 days over again.

All I can say is at least it wasn’t two bottles of wine but still: Who am I if I can’t even trust myself?

Today it’s wine, tomorrow it’s nacho cheese and next week I’m probably up to heroin. Great. Maybe I can just knock a few of my teeth out in anticipation of my new lifestyle. Best part is even with a crippling drug addiction I probably still won’t lose any damn weight. I’ll be the only coke whore that weighs 400 pounds.

There is a rumor that tonight I’m having numerous people over at my (currently filthy) apartment for a cocktail party. Well, a wine party. Great timing, right? Me of no self restraint? Having people over to drink cases of wine. Perhaps if I just shoot myself in the foot now I can get this over with quicker. Saying that I don’t plan to drink tonight means nothing in light of the fact that I made it hardly 6 days into a 21 day moratorium on booze.

So, these people I’m supposedly having over, they are all female. Which means my apartment has to be clean, I have to look nice and I have to have good food to offer. Whereas I am the sort of person who would order pizza and explain that the “pepperoni goes well with Merlot, I swear” I cannot get away with such things tonight. So I have to clean my apartment, lose 10 pounds, figure out a menu, go shopping, cook said menu, and figure out what 10 grown adult women do while standing around and drinking.

I’m an adult now. What do adults do when they hang out? WHAT? I have no freaking idea. Everyone is going to be bored.

What the hell am I going to serve to eat? What the hell does a cocktail party menu look like? And how the hell am I going to afford this?

Why can’t I just order pizza?

And why the hell don’t I have one GD ounce of self restraint?

5 comments:

sallyacious said...

I am, of course, the very last person to offer advice, having spent all day yesterday recovering from a chocolate martini bender.

What do adults do when they hang out? Apparently eat fabulous gourmet food, drink gallons of chocolate martinis and play silly card games which involve screaming ridiculous insults when significant others make incorrect guesses. Or at least, that's what we did at the small gathering the other night.

Of course, that was at a party at someone else's house. At our house, it's gallons of red wine (or beer, or sangria), accompanied by Cheetos, M&Ms (plain & peanut) & lots of laughter. With maybe some deviled eggs if Dave's in the mood to make them. Also chocolate chip cookies baked in a cake pan because we're too lazy to take the time to scoop them out individually. We don't have any good silly card games, though, which makes us complete losers. It's probably why no one visits us.

alyndabear said...

Oh dear.... well, here's to the next 21 days? You can make it , lovely.

You turn to alcohol. I turn to food. Bah.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous here again - you DO have restraint. You already made it several days, and then you had a mis-step. You are going to have problems along the way. Humans screw up all the time. What matters is that you do not beat yourself up over this one small error, and that you DO tell yourself that you can beat the previous record of days. Forgive yourself, but don't forget.

As for the party and cleaning - do 15 minutes at a time. Switch rooms so you don't get overwhelmed or disctracted. Call a friend, if you have one of the type that will come over and help you clean and get ready.

And remember, it is always easier to see another persons errors and issues and how to fix them than dealing with your own. Right now, my life is in shambles. But I can still help you and so can your other readers/fans.

So@24 said...

Can I party with you?

The CEO said...

I agree with Anon., you did show self-restraint for 21 days. I have no experience in the other areas. Maybe bring in someone that sells sex toys.