Ah, Anonymous, who ever you are, this is some great advice: "Don't look upon not drinking as "I can't drink alcohol". Try and see it in more of a "I could drink, but right now, I am not going to because I want to become more healthy". It does help to alter your perception. "Can't" seems to foster more rebellion and irritation about constraints."
I had two glasses of wine last night.
I have to start my 21 days over again.
All I can say is at least it wasn’t two bottles of wine but still: Who am I if I can’t even trust myself?
Today it’s wine, tomorrow it’s nacho cheese and next week I’m probably up to heroin. Great. Maybe I can just knock a few of my teeth out in anticipation of my new lifestyle. Best part is even with a crippling drug addiction I probably still won’t lose any damn weight. I’ll be the only coke whore that weighs 400 pounds.
There is a rumor that tonight I’m having numerous people over at my (currently filthy) apartment for a cocktail party. Well, a wine party. Great timing, right? Me of no self restraint? Having people over to drink cases of wine. Perhaps if I just shoot myself in the foot now I can get this over with quicker. Saying that I don’t plan to drink tonight means nothing in light of the fact that I made it hardly 6 days into a 21 day moratorium on booze.
So, these people I’m supposedly having over, they are all female. Which means my apartment has to be clean, I have to look nice and I have to have good food to offer. Whereas I am the sort of person who would order pizza and explain that the “pepperoni goes well with Merlot, I swear” I cannot get away with such things tonight. So I have to clean my apartment, lose 10 pounds, figure out a menu, go shopping, cook said menu, and figure out what 10 grown adult women do while standing around and drinking.
I’m an adult now. What do adults do when they hang out? WHAT? I have no freaking idea. Everyone is going to be bored.
What the hell am I going to serve to eat? What the hell does a cocktail party menu look like? And how the hell am I going to afford this?
Why can’t I just order pizza?
And why the hell don’t I have one GD ounce of self restraint?