Yesterday I ran around like a fool and for the first time in a long time ate fast food.
Oh nacho cheese, why hath thee forsaken me?
By 7:00 last night I was sweating, had the chills, shaking and running a temperature. I blamed it on the intake of cafeine, which I never drink because it makes me all sick and loopy, and instead kept going until 11 last night when I finally came home and passed out. By this morning I was in agony. I still managed to get dressed, do my hair and makeup, and get my lunch together, but about 10 minutes before I leave in the morning I couldn't take it anymore. I called in sick and beat a hasty retreat to my bathroom where I've been for 7 hours. SEVEN hours. And I still feel like hell.
The thing is, at my last job I still would have made it to work. The bathroom was decidedly more private and I wouldn't have had my entire department watching me go in and out of it all day. At my current job I pass the open door of every manager to get to the ladies room and even better; the bathroom door opens right into the entire shared common cubicle cluster for the whole office. I stayed home more out of fear of sharing my Gordita mishap with the office than my inability to make it to work even with a broken leg.
I know that I did the right thing but I HATE staying home. Hate. Especially on a Monday. This can't look good. But I can't let myself feel guilty: I'm still shakey and clammy, water is the only thing that will stay down, and I would not have been able to live down being responsible for sharing my gastronomical nightmare with an office full of people.
I'm freaking out.
In other news I agreed to trounce down a catwalk in lingerie in April. I had to restart my ban on booze a few days ago but that is okay; I think my insane decision to dress like a hoochie for charity is just what I need to get that final push of motivation going for me. Even better; I can't survive today without losing some weight, right?
(And still the spell check won't work. I'm going to have to start composing in Word and copying over, but not today, too weak to toggle between windows.)