Friday, March 13, 2009

What makes Jobless even better?

Homeless.

On Monday I found out that my condo is being foreclosed on because the owner didn't pay the lease for over a year. I've lived here for five years and never paid my rent late, keep the place in great condition and don't run a meth lab (clearly that is what the warehouse at work is for).

It has been the week of hell and it took days just to get tentative answers. I still don't know if the bank is going to give me 48 hours to vacate or if they'll let me stay til I find a new place.

What with losing my job I figured one of my options would have to be renewing my apartment lease when it came due in three months. I mean, I've lived here for five years and I was really ready to move on but I don't have the funds for first, last, a security deposit and moving. It was just more economically feasible for me to continue to try to live here than find a new place in light of the job loss I'm facing.

Worse yet it has been the week from hell. No one has answers, no one is helpful. I did find one free advocacy group in town that at least lead me in the right direction but they also scared the wits out of me; apparently (like we all didn't know this) this is happening all over the country. Families that pay their rent and are responsible are being tossed out as owners default. I'm lucky I don't have kids or even a house plant to take care of so I can't imagine what this would be like for a family.

Needless to say the week has been...bad. And I'm sorry to report that I gained six pounds.

Six.

Pounds.

I'm not kidding. This isn't water weight either, it's real weight. When I wasn't calling my sketchy property rental place for the twentieth time in one day (I'm not kidding) or tracking down any renter lawyer that would talk to me I was shovelling food in my face by the bucket-full. My caloric intake could have fed a heavily populated island for a month.

When I know what I'm going to do I'll update you.

In the meantime I'm fat, jobless and pretty soon homeless.

And testy. Don't give me motivational crap about pulling through and rainbows and the power of happy thoughts. I'm tired from fighting with clueless and worthless bureaucracy and trying to find another job in a hellacious economy. I'll be Pollyanna later, right now I'm Jabba the Hut.

4 comments:

sallyacious said...

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

That is horrible and rotten and awful.

I'm so sorry.

The CEO said...

The only pro-active suggestion I can come up with is to head to the foreclosing bank and try to make the argument that since you have lived there for five years and have been an excellent tenant, the place will move faster for them if it is occupied than empty since it might appeal to an investor. Empty, it will just add to their inventory of non-performing REO (real estate owned - it's how it's carried on the books). I'd also stress that you'd send your rent check to them, and add to their cash flow, and hence their earnings. You will need to talk to a high level manager to pull it off. Dress like a business woman. Be serious. Smile. Pretend you're me in drag. Go make it happen. No rah rah, this is strictly business. There's something in it for both of you.

When he or she says the bank isn't into property managemnt, offer to take over that function for a fee, and you have just solved the job problem. When the world hands you lemons, see if you can find the person with the vodka and the one with the vermouth.

Monty

sallyacious said...

Wow. Excellent advice from the CEO.

I would also say, now looks like an excellent time to go back to school. You get federal aid that way and come out with more earning potential at the other end.

Eris said...

Sallyacious: Thank you. That is the perfect thing to say.

CEO: Short of actually walking into the bank since it is in another state I did all those things already. Thank you for the support.

Sallyacious: I've never considered going back to school, I wouldn't know what to go for and I didn't enjoy it the first time. At this point becoming a hobo really does sound nice, time to move to a beach and live off of garbabe cans.