Saturday, April 4, 2009

Of hunger, cleaning, and WTH is up with boys?

I better get something posted fast while I still have a grain of energy. I just ate an orange and that should help boost my poor blood sugar level enough to allow me to type. Again, I'm not starving myself. I'm not being stupid. I eat healthy stuff when I'm hungry. But DAMN how my body fights it. This body thing doesn't know what it wants. When I eat crap and fast food I'm tried, sluggish, and cranky. When I eat healthy I'm tired, sluggish, and cranky. Someone invent the damn food pills already so I don't have to put up with this nonsense.

I spent today cleaning in a semi-lucid state (see: low blood sugar, or rather see: lack of nacho cheese) because my social life is dwindling and this place needed a scrub down. I live alone. My housekeeping skills are far better than days of yore (like when I learned that mold grows in cups of water left around the house). Yet it takes an entire day of scrubbing, mopping, dusting, vacuuming and bleaching to get this place to par. I don't even know where half the filth comes from. It's like secret dust fairies sneak into my apartment the second I leave and coat this whole house in their dust of the non pixie variety. I fear ever having to live with another person, or having nice things, how on earth will I stay on top of it?

Speaking of living with another person I have a question about the difference between boys and girls. If a boy asks you to move in with him what does that mean? To me it means I get double the cooking, cleaning, shopping and organizing in exchange for half the shower time, a snoring bed partner, and having to keep my legs shaved all the time. I see absolutely no point in living together.

HOWEVER, I am tired of trying to decipher the boy brain. What does living together mean for the boy? Does it mean that he wants to make a bigger commitment or that he likes the idea of having real towels in the bathroom and not drying off with laundry? Does it mean that he is falling in love with you or that he likes the idea of having milk with an expiration date that exists in the future and not the past?

Do boys even THINK about such things or are they just clueless bastards sent to this planet to torture women? And furthermore, why is it impossible to pry said motivations out of said boy? If you ask: Why do you want to live together? What does this mean? Does it mean anything at all? And you STILL get no answer at what point can you take him to small claims court and demand your sanity back?


The CEO said...

I didn't quite get what your idea of living together was. In my house, I am the vastly better cook and baker. She is a much better electrician and plumber.

One showers in the morning and one in the evening?

Then there's actually talking to each other, radical, I know.

Energy comes from converting adenosine triphosphate to adenosine diphospahte and releases energy in the process. It's called the Krebs Cycle. When you exercise, you store the triphosphate. Just so you know, it's not just a guy thing.

sallyacious said...

When a boy asks you to move in with him, I've always assumed it means he wants to live with you. It could mean built-in cook and bottle washer as you suggested, or it could mean he likes you enough that he wants you around more.

It's up to the couple in question to decide what exactly that's going to comprise. Which means everybody talking about what they want and don't want living together to be so that you're both clear on it beforehand and then talking about it again as things shift and change.

The boys I've known have always fallen into two camps:
1) those who say what they mean and don't understand why it has to be analyzed because what they said is what they meant, and
2) manipulative, sadistic assholes who don't say what they mean, they instead say what you want to hear and don't mean a word of it.

I'm assuming you know by now which category this fella falls under, which should help clarify the situation.