Sunday, January 3, 2010

Part Six: Smoking

Before we get to the business of part six I would like to take a moment to do some housekeeping and address the very thoughtful comments I have been getting: THANK YOU! I was starting to worry that perhaps it was just me and I can't throw a decent party to save my life but now I know, somewhere, someplace, people are having successful and joyous get togethers that don't involve inconsiderate guests. Which brings me to my next point: Clearly I need to find new friends. Sigh. The story of my life.

Part six in my seven part series: “Things I’ve Learned About Hosting a Holiday Get Together”.


Assume ahead of time that some people smoke cigarettes. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known these people your whole life, you will be surprised. Remind them to take it outside. If you’re feeling extra festive, dye some kitty litter red and green and pour it into a cheap (non-flammable) bowl so that you don’t get to clean empty beer containers filled with butts off of your deck or lawn. Bonus for not having guests put out cigarettes on your siding or other available surfaces.

This is the shortest bit of advice I’ve picked up, and probably some of the best. I’ve never heard Martha Stewart mention this, but then again, that woman is a powerhouse and probably has an entire book dedicated to kilning your own natural clay ashtrays which are festively and intricately hand gold leafed, and how to grow heirloom tobacco that she then rolls in home pressed paper rendered from Egyptian papyrus.


Anonymous said...

They did NOT put out their cigarettes on your siding... you have got to be kidding me. They will not be getting invited back. I will intercept next year's invitations, if I have to.

Sallyacious said...

Seriously. You do need new friends. These people do not know how to behave in public.