How ya doin?
Crazy? Because I am. It has been nothing but nuts the last few days what with trying to get my job in order and I have such mixed feelings. There isn't enough time to get these people trained on what they need to know yet I have been trying for two years so I guess there will never be enough time, it is some kind of paradox. Maybe. I could be using the word wrong. My brain is mush. I also have mixed feelings because it is like leaving an abusive realtionship; sure, he beats me, but he is all I have known for such a long time.
There are a few people I will truly miss but certainly not enough to stay. I can't let myself feel guilt over how bad things may get without me because A) that is ego, even if it is true and B) it is not my responsibility. Still. I am so good at being stressed about things that I absolutely cannot change.
You wake up one day and you spent how long in your job? Doing what? That you hate? Where did the time go? How the hell did I get stuck here and why didn't my very best efforts get me out sooner? What was the purpose of me wasting the last remains of my youth in a shitty job in a crappy town and winding up doing absolutly nothing for three years because I just couldn't escape? Why? Gah. Don't read this. It is drivel. I am crazy, as stated, and all up in mixed emotions and it may have more than a little to do with the 13 hour day I've already worked and the fact that I was forced to skip lunch. Trying to be rational and not all weepy on just the calories in an apple is not good.
What the hell am I doing with my life. Is this it? Why?