Sunday, September 9, 2012

My cat is co-dependent, does that make me her enabler?

If I try to close a door with me on one side and my cat on the other SHE LOSES HER DAMN MIND.  I don't know if she thinks I bust out the piles of catnip and fresh tuna on the other side of the door and throw a party for other cats I have hidden in my purse or closet but she is pissed and lets me know it.

She wales.

She scratches.

She throws herself at the door.

Her cries are so loud, so miserable, so visceral, that a passerby would report me to animal control immediately, only after breaking into my house themselves to rescue the poor little injured and abused animal.  I don't know why she does this.  The best I can figure out is that she is insanely co-dependent.

I haven't gone to the bathroom alone in my apartment since I adopted her ten months ago.  At least she no longer insists on actually sitting on my shoulders while I attend to my business, now she just sits on the counter, either licking my face or resting her paw on my shoulder as a sign of what I can only assume is moral support.  I don't show her this kind of support when she is in her litter box so I don't know how she got the impression that I need it.  I mean, yes, I am lonely as hell, but most people who are lonely don't require moral support while peeing.  And it would be nice to take a nap someday without her sleeping on my face but I guess this is a quirk of cat ownership.  People who say cats are aloof or non-affectionate have never met my clingy little ball of fur.

I've intermittently tried following her punk ass around for an hour or so at a time but it doesn't phase her, she likes having me shadow her, and she relishes the attention.  I suspect that if I quit my job just to follow her around and attend to her every whim she wouldn't bat an eye; balance would be restored and all would be right in the world in her mind.

I've read everything I can get my hands on to break her of the habit of screaming outside a closed door but the only suggestion is to just ride it out for weeks or even months until they give it up.  I can't do this because my neighbors would kill me.  She is so loud you can hear her outside and across the parking lot never mind in the units around me.Until I move to a house where the nearest neighbors are deaf or many miles away I will not know what it is like to pee or sleep or read or shower without feline company.

I try to encourage her to get hobbies of her own but she only seems to enjoy her plethora of toys if I am in the room with her and the toys at the same time.  I think she just sleeps all day while I am gone, shutting down until she has an audience for the cute.  At least, that is the impression she gives and she gives it well so I have no reason to doubt it  She has shown no interest in reading, getting a part time job, chatting with other cats on cat-skype, nothing.  I can't even get her to do the occasional load of laundry.  I am her absolute only diversion besides flying bugs which are awesome and super fun but I rarely let them into the house because I am clearly a wet blanket, what are some broken lamps and dishes and overturned bookcases between friends?

So, I'm 30.  I'll be 31 on Tuesday.  I live alone with a co-dependent cat.  I may be a cat enabler.  I will probably have to attend groups or something for this.  At least I will be a healthy crazy cat lady.  

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