Monday, May 4, 2009

Sallyacious and the CEO have thoughtful discourse

The following interaction between Sallyacious and Monty The CEO in regard to my last two posts makes me wish I had a higher blog readership because it is so good. I’m busy pondering their insight and waging war against two evil pigeons who have brought all their evil friends to flood by bacony with bird crap. Read, and enjoy:

sallyacious has left a new comment on your post "Addendum to the post below":

Maybe it's because you're settling for the status quo and selling yourself short.

You were ready to take a bigger step than this, whether you'd realized it or not. Are you sure this isn't a bit like settling for a boyfriend who's a nice guy and all, but who in the end isn't really who you're looking for?

You made the prudent choice, but prudent choices aren't always the most fun or interesting or growth-provoking choices. They're often the choices of stagnation.

Life, according to Carl Jung, gives us pain so that we can grow from it and become our complete selves. Prudent choices keep us in the same place. Only backwards.

Posted by sallyacious to Smells Like Nothing at April 29, 2009

The CEO has left a new comment on your post "Addendum to the post below":

I got caught pondering the last post while you put this one up. I'm going to take a middle course between you and Sally here. I like Sally's Jungian interpretation but think you both missed the object.

It's easy to point at the apartment and say that the next step was into something bigger and better, a better apartment or a house, yet this is the most improbable choice at this juncture of all of the variables under your control.

What do you have some say over? The boyfriend is where you have the most control, and the work you will seek next is the other. Saving money on housing simply makes sense and binds you for a year, or the extent of the lease.

I agree with Sally about growth, but I don't want to use Jung's term of pain, I'd rather use Maslow and Herzberg's term of risk. They actually mean the same thing. By taking risk, you can't be wallowing in all those things that make you feel good and help you avoid pain (like food).

A good risk for you might be taking your computer skills and finding a property developer and discussing job opportunities where you could work your way into floor plans. Or working with an architect doing something similar. Or considering telling the boyfriend maybe you both should date other people.

You should probably check with Sally, my personal biases are probably showing here. I may have an opinion to take responsibility for, in other words.

Posted by The CEO to Smells Like Nothing at April 29, 2009

sallyacious has left a new comment on your post "Addendum to the post below":

CEO - Excellent points.

I should clarify what I meant about pain. Pain comes from being stuck, from not addressing those things in our lives we need to address. We experience the pain because we're not being our authentic selves. So all of Eris' frustrations, etc.--according to Jung--would be that kind of pain.

We have two options when we get ourselves into these situations (and I have been in MANY; I have kind of a genius for finding them, I think, painful situations): we can choose to stay in the pain and remain stuck, or we can face the source of it and grow. But that brings its own issues, and in the end, the choice is between pain and fear.

So your risk is most assuredly a part of the equation. It's just what you take in response to the pain if you want to get anywhere.

Posted by sallyacious to Smells Like Nothing at April 30, 2009

The CEO has left a new comment on your post "Addendum to the post below":

Eris, you are truly graced with Sally as a friend. That is simply one of the most coherent explanations of Jung I have ever heard.

Everyone falls into problems. It what you do to get out that makes you who you become. You have talent. Start a business. Find a need and fill it. What do you need? So do a lot of others. You're smart, please don't forget that. Have a great day! And please, both of you, call me Monty.


The CEO said...

That Sally is some smart friend you have there, Eris. Do you two hang out a lot?

sallyacious said...

We've never met in person.

I would have kept up the conversation because the topic interests me and I was really enjoying chatting with Monty, but then my life took over and I had to go do things.


Looking forward to a week where I don't have to do things. Not sure when that will happen exactly, but I'm looking forward to it.

The CEO said...

Any time, Sally. I am currently unemployed, so my schedule is not as hectic as yours. I am always available whenever you'd like to pick up, wherever you'd like to pick up from. And do well in school, and in the play!

Perhaps you and Eris can have lunch when you move to Chicago!

Sallyacious said...

You know, Eris, there's a great book out there that my teaching partner and I have used for the last couple of years. It was out of print, but the 100 copies or so that the university bookstore has to sell every year has apparently been enough to bring it back.

Swamplands of the Soul by James Hollis.

It's all about the Jungian approach to depression and frustration and pain. Intellectually, the book can be a bit of a slog. It's not an easy read--I had to go through it twice before I really got what he was saying in some of it--but it's well worth picking up and working through if you're interested in exploring the ideas we danced with in this post.

sallyacious said...

Oh, and Monty, my move to Chicago will actually take me much further away from Eris than I am now. Now, we're at least in the same time zone.

Eris said...

Allo both of you :)

I've been giving both of your comments much, much though. Sally is absolutely right in that I need change and the pain is coming from not changing. Monty is right in that the decision is an economicaly smart one. But I mull over Sally's comment about pain being found in not moving forward because I feel as if, somehow, even in making the *right* decision to be fiscally responsible, that I am signing myself up for another year of the same and I need some growth already!

And yes, Sally's move to Chicago will take her further away from me. But that isn't a bad thing; Chicago is full of life and opportunity and growth, which Sally has earned. Perhaps I am earning mine now?

The CEO said...

There will be more cheap flights between Reno and Chicago than Reno and Moscow. I'm sure that Sally will run into more single men in Chicago who might be interesting to Eris should she ever visit Chicago, or look for work there. Y'all are two or three time zones away from me, as it is. I'm just trying to think without a box.

Sallyacious said...

Well, there's growth and there's growth. You can find growth in other parts of your life. You don't have to change everything at once.

I mean, just because that's the way I usually do it doesn't mean it's the best way.